Happy With Minion
Franz Kafka, the story goes, encountered a little girl in the park where he went walking daily. She was crying. She had lost her doll and was desolate.
Kafka offered to help her look for the doll and arranged to meet her the next day at the same spot. Unable to find the doll he composed a letter from the doll and read it to her when they met.
"Please do not mourn me, I have gone on a trip to see the world. I will write you of my adventures." This was the beginning of many letters. When he and the little girl met he read her from these carefully composed letters the imagined adventures of the beloved doll. The little girl was comforted.
When the meetings came to an end Kafka presented her with a doll. She obviously looked different from the original doll. An attached letter explained: “my travels have changed me… “
Many years later, the now grown girl found a letter stuffed into an unnoticed crevice in the cherished replacement doll. In summary it said: “every thing that you love, you will eventually lose, but in the end, love will return in a different form.”
For me there are two wise lessons in this story: Grief and loss are ubiquitous even for a young child. And the way toward healing is to look for how love comes back in another form. - May Benatar
When I started going through my google+ page I realized how crowded it looked! Only yesterday I was adding back people to my circles and they started popping in my buddy list - old problem, yes… but not one I have faced before. What is wrong with these guys? I do love google, and I want to continue feeling that way but the decision makers of the company are making it difficult for me(& many others I am sure!). Who in fuck’s name come up with ideas of functionalities like that?! Really?! I haven’t even started with the new hangout replacing talk. What is that shit??? It IS shit!!!
After the google induced problems, I need to talk about the several mediums of virtual interaction (I don’t even mean facebook)… should I connect everything? Will I be comfortable with people seeing my passive-aggressiveness when it comes to speaking my mind? Not that I ever have anything substantial to say that might change the world… but neither do… nope, I will hold of badmouthing people in case I end up being famous someday. Getting back to the problem - should I link everything (minus facebook of course). That’s g+, twitter, tumblr ( I do have a tumblr—>twitter thing going on but not vice versa… je suis penser), wordpress, stuff I don’t remember but will eventually come across, and mediums yet to come? I am not quite asking for the answer but I suppose I wouldn’t mind a census. Meh! Also, the picture came up when I googled (I do love what they have and do for most part - what I don’t like is what feels like jab at my back from time to time) … “can’t give fuck” … with quotations. Thank you whomever I am using it from… put it through the url link… blah blah disclaimer… I am sincere about my thanks though. It was the second picture and portrays, quite accurately as it appears to me, what I feel after all I have spewed out above.
However, I shall share the proof of my poetic prowess
I am a pseudo poet.
With myself, I can sing a duet.
As I pose for MHD a threat.
In fear he even forgets to fret.
While I pile more work on my plate,
I wonder how to use the word,
In my pseudo-poetry, obliterate.
(this whole stuff is the caption for the picture - just saying!)
Celebrating hallmark days never seemed appealing - no I am not trying to be different - it’s simply overwhelming to me. Like, dieting or studying. However, being ordered to go watch “Man of Steel” as a celebration proved to be a blessing. After a long time I managed to crush on an actor & It Feels Good! To think I didn’t give him much thought after the trailer gives it the right romantic edge - and Yes… I am aware of it happening only in my head!
I hope the actor doesn’t have the personality like an used kitchen towel. Crushing takes a significant amount of mental work that I’d rather have applied for a respectable man.
On a separate note, I need to read & then reread till I can apply “Elements if Style” as I type.
I love colors, shapes - (a simple prayer for the birthgift of sight) and always want something graphic besides words. Google often fails to assist me in that case.
Anyways, I write today after reading up about a gay couple who got married. One of the grooms has family roots in Bangladesh. He came out to his parents 12 years ago and recently got married to his partner. All this time he has not been accepted - and no… I am not going to talk for or against his treatment at all - instead, I am going to talk about a guest at his wedding. His father. Who attended his son’s non-traditional wedding & toasted for the new couple’s happiness. Reading the news brought tears to my eyes. A father wishing for his son’s happiness despite the stigma associated! How beautiful is this? I understand the difficulty many of us face complying with religious teachings or cultural expectations but all in all, aren’t we just striving for a good feeling in our lives? Happiness, peace, fun, whatever the anomaly desire - basically, a state of being we all desire (disregarding the variations of socio-psychopaths)?
Nowadays I keep on wondering, is (or are) God(s) really that petty?
My father and I argue a lot in general. We have had our differences in the past, we currently hold a collection, and I can guarantee new additions for the future but I AM his daughter. I have his bad more than his good and I have more of his genes than my mom’s for sure. Either ways, I love my father for being my father. It was a cosmic decision, I know but somehow it was decided for us and I am thankful.
I feel reluctant to put down my thoughts - it’s just adding up to digital garbage - I can’t help feeling.
Even though, growing up, reading was the second kind of joy I had next to eating, I am not much of a reader anymore. Technicalities of writing appeal to me more than some actual work in literature. When it comes to literature, my entire awareness finds reading boring unless it has some wit or humor. Here I feel obliged to confess - my grasp of the complicated is a slow journey.
I shall end today’s monologue contemplating on how the minutiae of the life one leads ends up being the etched memories.
Women start forgiving faults once in love while men start searching! - Hamasaki Aiko, Saikou no Rikon